They don't call it a crush for nothing. That fleeting euphoria will eventually catch up with you and crush you mercilessly underfoot. You feel dejected that you didn't take a chance with that oh so special one, like the one who slipped away from the tips of your fingers. You try to run away from your pain. It's like taking painkillers for that ever present nagging ache of your back. It won't solve your problem, but it gives you temporary respite. That ephemeral escape that feels so good.

But it doesn't last. Work and jogs aren't really the ideal solutions to the ailment you have. You tell yourself it's fine, there's more things in life than just that person. Of course there is. Just that everything lost its lustre without that one person in your life. An empty void in your heart, begging to be filled by something, anything.

You move on, painfully at first, but with renewed vigour as you regain momentum. I am indestructible, infallible, invincible, you reassure yourself.

And then you met that someone. Your pulse quickens; have I really met the one? You grow nervous yet excited once again. You quickly tell yourself not to make those fatal mistakes again. It will just be a distraction, making you stray away from the current path you always wanted. Or is it really now? Is it really what you wanted? What about the little chance that you will be together with that person?

You face another crossroads in life. Will you take another leap of faith, across the abyss of despair?

Going crazy.

You were so personal, so easy to understand, and yet sometimes you were so indifferent and cold.

I was supposed to be someone I wasn't to impress you?

What a waste. I thought I found a real friend.

If you want to play it like a game
Well, come on, come on, let's play
Cause I'd rather waste my life pretending
Than have to forget you for one whole minute

So pn was quite a bad show tbh. Oh well. At least I got to talk to my batchmates and had quite a good time.

It was a valiant effort...just that it seemed a little too boring.






what's happening to rirc :/

freedom. in all the words I drown myself in. liberty from the harsh reality.

geog is making me go mad. zeugens, moraines, aretes, hanging valleys, yardangs, grikes, dolines, uvalas, inselbergs......................................................arghhhhhhh

"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage. " Lao Tzu

it's so hard to find someone who understands you and like you just the way you are.

"I am a coward...I hide when I watch horror movies. I'm really scared of heights, and my legs shake when I'm way up high. But the time when I'm really scared, is the time when I don't get to see you."


ha. I guess I haven't found the one who I can say that to.

Go on. Bury yourself in work. It has always been the only thing you do decently in anyways.