Why do I keep denying myself that I have feelings? Why do I keep building this wall around me, this shell around me, distancing myself from others? 

Are those feeling real? Or just an illusion of my crazed mind (yea, I'm insane)?

Just back from UK.  Had a wonderful time there. Dale Fort was a really relaxing place and Pembrokshire itself was really great too. Hope to go back there someday... instead of the hustle and bustle of city life.

I guess I learnt some stuff through the fieldwork we did, but i think the pace of learning there is pretty slow. They pretty much give us all the answers and most of the worksheets are just fill-in-the-blanks. I had alot of fun with my friends though. We explored alot around the area, such as the old bunker with the fantastic view and all the funny side paths. 

London is a beautiful city too, just that it has more filth compared to Singapore. The architecture there is so grand. And i should have spent more at Oxford street. oh well. I will just buy more in US. 500 more dollars to spend! haha I sound like such a shopping-deprived kid.

I think we should have spent more time at Dale Fort though. The fieldwork there is quite enjoyable, I love the environment there. 1 more day at London would have been perfect too, since our visits to certain places like the Tower of London was so rushed. (and I wouldn't mind more time at Oxford street lol)

Time to catch up on work though...

Last day in Singapore before ~8 days in UK. I haven't been blogging much, I know, but that doesn't mean I don't have stuff on my mind.

I was out yesterday buying jeans at NEX, and we went to the nearby area to eat at the coffeeshop. That was the area I grew up in, where I bought my first toy, where I bought my first watch, where I bought my first set of clothes...

And yet the shops here are on the verge of closing down now because of NEX. I saw the old shop keeper looking forlornly at his shop. The has gravitated to nex, and bypassed all the shops here. Is that the true force of (I dunno, commericalisation?)

lol anyway packing for uk now (or was). main luggage is 14kg (dam...) and the hand luggage (my bagpack really) is less than 5kg, since it seems so light. But its so bulky, with my jacket and sweater and other barang barang...

oooh about my results. kinda died in my myct, though I managed to pull off a miracle by get a 3.6 for chinese (YES CHINESE) and well everything else died cept bio. oops. first time getting a 3.6 for geog. man now my geog's really screwed. oh well I still got a 3.9gpa overall, so it ain't that bad, and apparently my comments from my fts were better than my friends even though I'm evidently so much worse than them.

kinda finished on the e-learning stuff they gave us for the last day of school, but I'm gonna have to finish them when I get back. I also have to read another issue of duzhe for a test (oh the joy) and another el lit book which isn't really exciting.

Oh and I'm starting to play playphone poker on my ipod touch. I'm really bad at the game, so I guess I'm lucky that the money I'm losing is just virtual money or I will be in deep trouble.

yep thats about it.

one day, I will be standing right next to you.

I admire those who can just be offline all the time. Those who can say f*** the world and shut yourself away from it. Those who can escape from their troubles so easily.


But that's just so irresponsible.  That's not how you do things.

I'm so dead for geog. the practice paper seems so hard. and chinese is tomorrow. I need to get a 70%! dam...hopefully i can remember what i crammed into my head. SS on Friday. and yet I havent really studied much for it. need to commit pts to memory and practice writing.

The only thing I'm not screwed for is math and sciences I think. and even that looks increasingly shaky.


die liao.