Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul
That love never lasts.
And we've got to find other ways to make it alone.
Or keep a straight face.

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance.
And up until now I have sworn to myself
That I'm content with loneliness.

Because none of it was ever worth the risk.

Well you are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.

so that's how it feels when you aren't reciprocated. Guess it's time to start basing my decisions on logic again instead of my irrational fickle feelings.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I'll remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"

It has been nearly 24 days since I've been in the UK, and around 10 since I'm living alone. Life isn't as great as I imagined it to be, but not as bad as my worst nightmares were either.

It seems like the government is paying an exorbitant amount for me to study on my own though haha. I guess I will only really learn when the professor tells me how bad my essay is in my supervision next week.

I also need to learn how to cook. Can't keep surviving on instant noodles :/

Workload isn't that bad, but getting heavier each day. I thought university is when I can finally slack. sighhhh chose the wrong uni for that. Cambridge why must overwork your students...

T - 9 hours to lift off. Here we go!

Finally met you again. No one reads this blog and it's even more unlikely that you will, so being the cowardly me I shall write what I wanted to say to you all this while here, instead of gathering the courage to say it when we were face to face.

You were like a breath of fresh air when I first saw you. I imagine you rolling your eyes and saying 'lame' after reading this but it's true. Maybe I'm romanticising vague, rose-tinted memories but indulge me while I reminisce.

You were my first new friend in a new environment. A place that seemed so foreign to me, but with you it was a little warmer, and little more cheerful. Bubbly and easy going, you made me feel comfortable and welcomed. You talked to me while I sat there mostly silent, not because I was bored of your company but being the awkward me I just didn't know what to say.

We drifted apart and talked less and less because the stupid me was unwilling to invest time into a friendship I should have cherished more.

I didn't ask for a photo, because I felt that you should be left in my memories unaltered as something precious I hold dear.

I didn't say goodbye, but see you instead, in the hope that we would meet again. But as soon as our paths split, I felt a sense of finality, a sense that this might be the last time I would meet you.

As we depart for different places hurtling towards our separate futures, I just want to say thank you for everything. What you said to me or did with me are things you probably do not remember, but I will.

I would have sent you off if I wasn't going off on the same day. I didn't even ask you for your skype id, so contacting each other will probably be quite improbable. It's probably better this way anyway.

In any case, I wish you all the best.

As the day of departure draws closer, I'm feeling more and more empty. I don't know why but I don't really feel that excited to go to a new environment, a new place to live. One of my friends, Blim shared with me that he felt the same way. Though I guess it was because he went through the full 2 years of NS first.

I must have skipped past the first phase of euphoria really quickly haha. I still remember being extremely happy when I got my acceptance letter, but then it tapered off. Or it can be because I have never been terribly excited about a new school before...

In any case, a new school, a new country, and a new life. Ahhh nerve wracking