In the end, I'm just not good enough. Trying to always be a better person each day has always been my personal goal, but I seem to be lost with so many conflicting aims clouding my thinking.

I seem to be living a life of contradictions, but maybe it is gaining this awareness that is what people call 'growing up'.

I have flaws which I have long accepted as part of my personality, but that should never have been the case. How can such gross shortcomings be dismissed as part of my personality, a character trait when it clearly can be changed?

Trying so hard not to lose my temper. Just had a pretty great day and you came along and soured it. I'm sincere when I admit my faults, and I try to accept yours too, but you use that against me? Oh wow I'm so sorry I'm not perfect like you.

And if that's who you really are then I've totally misjudged you.

I guess it takes two hands to clap, and it's just really tough when the other party is so unenthusiastic about the whole thing.

Am I giving up too easily or wise in doing so? Guess I will never know. But sometimes things don't go your way and I need to accept that, instead of trying to get my way all the time.

maybe I'm being really harsh as always. sigh.

Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize
Don't patronize me

beautiful.

Ambiguity only exists when you aren't clear about what you want.

I think sometimes it's good for me to stop fruitlessly thinking about possibilities and just accept the reality to stop torturing myself.