Life is pretty good when the server in your college's canteen takes pity on you and gives you double serving at half the price.

Seeing people around being stressed and unhappy sometimes makes me feel like I should be too. Maybe I'm slightly weird but exam time is sometimes the period when I'm quite happy.

Not because of the upcoming papers (that would really be insane) but more because I have a legitimate reason to have more 'me' time. Am I really such an introvert? hmm

I enjoy spending time with friends, but I'm perfectly fine staring at the computer alone trying to figure out what the heck some academic is trying to say in his/her words that seem to obfuscate.

I still don't get why people study in public places. How can you have 'me' time when others can look?!

Oh well. Guess I'm just weird.

Life's hard when professors do not have a clear writing style and yet publish books.

It's so funny how someone can become unimportant to you so easily
maybe it's because we constantly make conscious decisions who to surround ourselves with

and how easily others purposefully exclude you
probably because you aren't that important anyway

and how things that were once clear can become so vague in just an instant
perhaps it just wasn't meant to be

still hurts though.
no one said it wouldn't. Just because it felt like the right decision doesn't mean it wouldn't bite back. 

So we are back to where we were just a year ago. I guess I can't expect more from you anyway. You are flawed, and so am I, but don't make me responsible for your missteps.

That's just irresponsible.

But what can I expect anyway, from someone like you? I'm glad we aren't friends anymore (are we? I don't even know). There's only so much a person can take. And I'm tired of maintaining this stupid friendship with you being immature about every single problem that comes up.

I hate it that sometimes I do irrational things, and I find it hard to justify my actions, even decide what my next step would be.

But life isn't that simple anyway, is it? If I were able to break everything down and make decisions in a snap that would make it so much easier but I can't.

With every decision comes insecurity and fear. But each one I take also gives me hope.

And I love that.

It's funny how I can vote in the local Cambridge election but not back in Singapore.