Just over 2 weeks before I leave the country for a while. It's still pretty surreal to me, the fact that I actually got the opportunity to do so. I think half my JC life I convinced myself I would be one of those in NUS doing medicine or law or some other conventional subject. 

I am just another ordinary person. Or am I? Being a third/fourth generation Singaporean makes me one of the unique few ethnic Chinese who use English as my first language in history. I live in a country that's 49 years old, younger than my parents. 

I spend a fair bit of time using the internet, even though only around 2.8 billion people in this world have access to it currently. I live in an age where products I order online come within a week, or a few days if I fork out more. 

But am I unique? Am I distinct? I think in history no other person had my name and lived exactly the way I did or have so far. 

I mean I have wrote in different applications how different I am, why I should be selected. It's not like nobody in this world think geography is somewhat relevant and important though. 

What determines who gets in, and who goes out? Despite having been part of a committee that conducted interviews and tried to make the best decisions I still have no idea. And that's with people I've seen for 3 years. Imagine meeting someone for the first time, maybe for 30 mins, and making a decision. Or worse, just reading what he wrote or what he submitted.

Just be yourself. Just write who you really are. The problem with that advice is that I think most people do not really know who they are. To be so self assured is something I still cannot grapple with. Is that not just the effect of cognitive dissonance, when one has told the same lie over and over again until it became the truth?

I digress. In the end being unique isn't that important anyway. Ultimately, you just have to convince others you are special is a certain way, a way that may be minor but till edges you ahead of the competition.

I guess my university admissions counsellor summed it up well. You may not think you are unique, but to someone living in the western world, a Singaporean living in a public flat that's actually pretty good, in a absurdly young nation that have one of the world's highest living standards (though quality of life is up to debate), speaks the lingua franca of the world pretty well and probably has a work ethic that beats the one most of their local students have, is quite special.